self love for women

Negative Words and Their Impact on Your Body Strength

How would you describe yourself to others?

Maybe you’d use words like “nice, hardworking, dependable…”?

Now… how do you describe yourself to YOU? 

In all honesty here, we women are not very kind with the words we say to ourselves.

Typically words like, “ I’m too fat, I’m not pretty enough, I’m not good enough…” dominate our thoughts.

Does it matter what we say to ourselves? And can’t it be helpful to say these negative things?

Maybe those harsh words will keep us motivated to get better and to always be working harder.  Maybe.

But today I’d like to talk about another side of that story.

Part One: Getting mad to save yourself

Last night, a local women’s group I belong to hosted a self-defense workshop. One of the key take-aways was to allow ourselves to get angry, to get mad – indignant. Too often, they said, women in attack situations tend to shut down and freeze. They worry about being perceived as not nice or as – heaven forbid – a bitch.

Crazy, isn’t it?

Our life is being threatened and we’re still worried about being a nice person…

But it’s true – we do this and I’ve experienced it for myself. So instead of worrying about the other person, we need to remember our families who love us and need us, we need to know that we’re important, we matter, and we need to get PISSED that this person is trying to hurt us. We say “Not today, not me, you WILL NOT” – we get indignant. We change our thoughts and we focus on the fact that this person is not nice and is trying to take something that doesn’t belong to him. I love this because it speaks to another theory I’ve been studying and testing.

Part Two: Determine Weak and Strong in Your Body

In the practice of muscle testing medical and energy work practitioners can check for system imbalances. You can do a quick example of this for yourself. Make a circle with your thumb and middle finger. Imagine you’re holding a ladybug in-between those two fingers – super light pressure as they come together.  Put your index finger from your other hand in the circle and say “Show me yes,” then try to break those fingers apart by sliding your index finger between the other two. Typically, this connection will be strong and you can’t easily break them apart.  Next, say “Show me no,” and do the same thing, and the bond will typically easily break. Occasionally this will be the opposite for people, but most of the time, the strong bond comes with “Yes” and the weak bond comes with “No.”

There are many many ways to muscle test, as you’ll find with a simple YouTube search, and some will work better for you than others. You can use muscle testing to determine all kinds of answers that your gut, your body and your intuition can answer. It’s a great way to get information without engaging the overworked mind.

So muscle testing connects words, ideas, beliefs with strength and weakness in the body. When you say something untrue, or unkind, your body will typically test as weak. When you say something true, affirming, your body will typically test as strong.

Part Three – Bringing It Together: Using words to increase your strength and integrity

So looking at the self-defense training and the importance of indignation – you get mad, you say words that strengthen you and your body responds. Your posture changes, your muscles test as strong.

Imagine the inverse. Imagine if you didn’t get mad, but just got afraid, cowering, moving into victim mode. You’d be easy to knock down, to push over. Too easy to fall. Your muscles test as weak.

I had another example of this recently when I was trail running. I was feeling good, strong and the run was going great. Then I had a random thought cross my mind – it wasn’t even related to running – but it was something that triggered a worry thought and a self-doubt thought. Right then, I rolled my ankle. Hard.  I’ve rolled my ankle many many times, but this was the first time I caught the connection to my thoughts. Likely because I’ve been paying more attention to my thoughts and their effects lately.  As soon as that fear-thought entered my mind, my body gave out at a weak spot.

Crazy, isn’t it?

But awesome.

It’s awesome because now you know. You know that you can change your strength, your ability, just by changing your words.  This confirms the power of affirmations. The power of self-kindness. The power of self-care.

Part Four: Self-experiment and Play

Practice with this and notice how things shift as you do various things.  Try using affirming words before (and during, as you can) a social event, a presentation, a workout or a running race. Anywhere where you might experience doubt, fear or nervousness.

Try words like: I am strong, I am fluid, I am great at this, I am a champion, etc. – whatever words resonate for you and make sense with the activity.

It’ll likely feel silly at first, but stick with it. See what it does for you. Notice the shifts.

Have you tried it? I’d love to hear about your experience. Connect with me on IG or shoot me a note –

P.S. Do you see that gorgeous gal in the top image? Poses like that are demanding. And while it’s reasonable to think it’s all about building up strength, that is only a portion. The bigger elements are about balance – finding that sweet spot where you can lift up – and the mental focus, and belief. You can’t be full of fear, saying self-defeating things to yourself in a pose like this. Stay in integrity, full-body and mind strength – send yourself some love – and see yourself achieving more fun things like this.

Katy Moses coaching
My name is Katy Moses and I work with women like you who are ready to grow your businesses in your own way. You are too-often struggling with overwhelm, feeling like you need to incorporate all the things the experts say you should into your to-do list. Instead, I help you work with your unique skills and strengths to better leverage your action-taking and so you can experience real joy in work and life. Receive email updates HERE.